Potluck rhymes with PotYUCK

At an open staff forum today, the topic of staff unity was discussed.
As you can imagine, everyone wants to have social gatherings and receptions where we can mix and mingle, but no one wants to pay for them. So, a solution was provided: Potluck.

My stomach turned to knots.
I started to get hives.
Visions of filthy food crept into my mind.

Maybe I was being judgmental, so I threw it out to my friends on Twitter and for three out of four responses, the answer was pretty consistent:

MalloryBower's avatar
Mallory Bower @MalloryBower
@jasonrobert good if it’s not mandatory. good if your coworkers are good cooks.
FirstGenCollege's avatar
Yolanda Norman @FirstGenCollege
@jasonrobert good idea here! I love trying new food and you get a chance to see so much culture from the staff
ChristiSaindon's avatar
Christi Saindon @ChristiSaindon
@jasonrobert They are. I’m not a fan.
timstjohn's avatar
Tim St. John @timstjohn
@jasonrobert we do student affairs crock pot and a chili cook off each semester. Lots of fun, good food, and hanging out.

As much as I love my Twitter friends, I have to disagree. My mind still wanders to weird, negative places:

  • Don’t you own a long-haired cat? How do I know there isn’t cat hair in your Great Grandmother’s Secret Chili?
  • How the hell am I going to get a crockpot through seven train stops?
  • Is your Top Secret Mac & Cheese really just Velveeta Shells & Cheese?
  • There is certainly mayo in your unrefrigerated potato salad and I think I smell salmonella in it.
  • I’m allergic to shellfish. How do I know you didn’t rub oysters all over this pan of stale brownies?
  • I’ve seen your four year old. He’s filthy. How do I know you didn’t let him help prepare your iceberg lettuce salad?
  • You don’t understand what Gluten-Free means and this finger sandwich is certainly made of bread.

Seriously. We require our students to adhere to strict food distribution policies in fear of food borne illness, allergic reactions and sanitation concerns. And there’s no way you can be #SAFit when you don’t know what ingredients went into Marge in Accounting’s Butter Grease Crisco Salad. Time to model the way, folks.

In the meantime, you won’t catch me near your potluck.

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Potluck rhymes with PotYUCK

7 thoughts on “Potluck rhymes with PotYUCK

  1. Sheri says:

    So as someone who both does not cook and has several hairy animals, I generally take the time and expense to buy something to share. That said, I also work with a few filthy folks who I know do not wash their hands after using the bathroom. I have no interest in eating whatever they would bring.

    1. Hilarious and correct. And seriously. I can’t make it through a train ride during rush hour without having an incident. Can you imagine if I had a steaming crockpot of Grandma Verna May’s Chili?

    1. This forum was actually a pretty good potluck of ideas, as you’ve coined it.
      If we carry out some of these ideas, we’ll be doing some cool stuff. I just hope there is some follow through now!

  2. To me, potlucks are the equivalent of counting going to a movie as spending time with your parents. You’re physically together, but it doesn’t teach you much about the people around you. We’re considering doing an interdepartmental trivia night during our staff retreat in August- you learn people’s passions (ugh, sorry, not a fan of that word) when you find out what they know a lot about. Has the potential to be more effective, and a no-bake solution!

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